1. Daddy carries Zoey upstairs while Mommy pretends to chase them (Zoey LOVES this. Every time Greg picks her up to carry her upstairs, she looks over his shoulder with a grin on her lips and a devilish gleam in her eyes).
2. Mommy grabs fresh pajamas and a diaper from Zoey’s room, turns on the little fan (for white noise) and places the blanket Zoey will be using that night on the side of the crib. Also, a binkie check is crucial so that we don’t end up with more than one in the crib during the night (if there is more than one, Zoey will find it, roll over on it and complain until Mommy or Daddy gets out of bed and removes it).
3. Mommy joins Daddy and Zoey in Mommy and Daddy’s room and changes Zoey’s diaper and puts on her pajamas. This usually includes a lot of rolling and bouncing around (on Zoey’s part), as she likes to make it as hard as possible to get a diaper and clothing on her. If she’s in a silly mood, there’s lots of giggles and squeals too.
4. Mommy brushes Zoey’s teeth (all four of them. She allows me to brush them for a whole two seconds before she clamps her lips together and refuses to let the brush in her mouth. Also she bites the brush) while Daddy gets the fluoride drops ready.
5. Daddy gives Zoey the fluoride drops (because we have well water) while Mommy washes the toothbrush and puts it away.
6. Daddy tells Zoey goodnight in the form of kissing her cheek and neck until she’s breathless from giggling so much.
7. Mommy wrestles the remote control to the TV away from Zoey and puts the TV on a channel she can stand for at least an hour (because sometimes it takes that long for Zoey to go to sleep), which usually means watching Real Housewives reruns on Bravo (What? Don’t judge me).
8. Mommy gives Zoey her binky, lays her down on a pillow and lays down next to her.
9. Mommy reads Zoey a story, which pretty much consists of Mommy reading each page as fast as she can before Zoey can grab the book out of her hands.
10. Mommy prays Zoey falls asleep quickly because oh-my-good-lord-I-am-hungry-like-whoa-and-Greg-made-his-awesome-chicken-and-I-can-smell-it-all-the-way-up-here-and-aren’t-you-tired-yet,-child?
11. Zoey falls asleep and Mommy watches the last few minutes of Real Housewives of New Jersey (because, let’s face it, they’re all crazy).
12. Mommy watches Zoey sleep for a couple minutes before scooping up the most adorable little baby in the world and carrying her into her own room to sleep in her crib.