Everyone has a celebrity crush when they’re growing up. For my older sisters and I, we wanted to marry the members of Duran Duran (My sister Cheryl was going to marry the lead singer, Simon, Colleen had hopes for the soulful drummer, Roger, and I was stuck with the weirdo guitar player, Andy) and then a few years later, the members of New Kids On The Block (Colleen was going to marry the lead singer, Jordan, and I was stuck with Danny, the drummer with a sort of square head and a braided rat’s tail. Oh dear. But I secretly had a crush on the bad boy, Donny Wahlberg). And because I’m embarrassing my older sisters, I might as well include my younger sister, Cristy, who, at one time, had NSYNC posters all over her bedroom walls and I think she was particularly attached to the youngest of the group, Justin Timberlake.
But this isn’t a story about my sisters and I. This is a story about Greg and his first celebrity crush.
He was twelve years old and Miss Mary Lou Retton was making waves at the Olympics and winning the hearts of young boys everywhere–including my Greg. He thought she was just AWESOME and he even wrote a report about her for a school assignment. There might have also been some fan letters sent that basically told her how rad he thought she was. He was smitten and clearly, they were meant to be.
Greg was convinced that probably he could meet her. All he had to do was figure out how to find her and no doubt once she laid eyes on him, she would definitely want to be his girlfriend and maybe one day they would get married. Granted, his research consisted of reading Sports Illustrated articles–so, naturally, he didn’t get too far. But he didn’t lose that dream of one day meeting his crush.
Then one night he was watching The Tonight Show (because Mary Lou Retton was on, of course) and Ms. Retton announced that her boyfriend had bought her a car.
Disappointed and probably a little heartbroken, Greg turned off the television and never again wrote her another fan letter.
Love is a fickle thing, friends.
But I, personally, think Mary Lou lost out because Greg is an amazing person–a perfect partner and an awesome Dad. So you better not come sniffing around here, Ms. Retton. You had your chance. Now he’s mine and I’m not letting him go anytime soon.