Things I Learned At Zoey’s First Swimming Lesson Yesterday


1. If you’re running late and you get to the class a couple of minutes late, EVERYONE will look at you while you try to usher your child into the pool.

2. There must be a law of the universe that says OF COURSE your child will be the ONLY ONE who doesn’t want to do everything the teacher wants her to do.

3. Your child will develop a sudden and inexplicable hatred for pool noodles, which really messes up the teacher’s game of water horsey.

4. Once the teacher shows the kids how to jump off the side of the pool into the water and your waiting arms, your child will want to do that for the rest of the class no matter what.

5. A half-hour class for a wriggling toddler can seem like it takes only five seconds and an eternity at the same time.

6. The YWCA’s locker room does not have nearly enough changing rooms. Also, it’s like a freaking maze back there.

7. If your child is within five feet of a closed curtain (because people are in that dressing room), she will open it as soon as your back is turned. OMG.

8. No matter how much you try to keep your normal clothes dry while changing, they will get wet and you will end up having to walk through Walmart to shop for groceries with soaked jeans. On a related note, wet socks are no fun for anyone.

9. After you leave, your child will want to go back to the pool to swim–and will remind you of it, oh, every ten minutes or so FOR THE REST OF THE DAY.


About cdhoose

I'm a mom to an amazing little girl and have another little one on the way. I live in Upstate New York with my fiance and daughter, 2 big, crazy dogs and a 3-legged cat (who has an attitude). I hate know-it-alls, Lindsay Lohan and socks with holes in them. I always seem to get myself into trouble (which entertains my fiance to no end), but I try hard to be a good parent. Also, I occasionally work on scrapbooking the fifty billion pictures I've taken of my kid. And I like ice cream. The end.

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